Once, Twice, Three Times a Fangirl
it brought me much joy today when I mentioned to an online friend that I was watching Glitter and he had no idea that that was a movie. Sometimes the short cultural memory and short attention span of my generation is a good thing.
For the record, I am not brave/stupid enough to watch Glitter in the raw. I paid $2.99 for a RiffTrax mp3 to make it watchable and soothe my morbid curiosity. But I need to stop there so I don’t become addicted to the microtransactions. This is pushing the Movie button in the same way that visiting the Papa John’s website is pushing the Pizza button. But I kinda want to watch one more terrible/pretentious movie that I would never ever pay to see in a theater. Like maybe Saw. Hated Saw. Took pictures of Japanese classmates being scared/depressed/bored by Saw. Or the Wickerman. Avoided that one like the plague when it came out, but that’s exactly the sort of movie that makes for a great RiffTrax.
I also watched X Files: Fight the Future, which was waaay more mockable than I remembered from the past decade when I saw it in the theater and bought the action figures. It was still a complex plot, but now I realize that it was complex in a boring and stupid way as opposed to a clever and insightful way. As a two-hour season finale for the TV show, it works ok, but it could never stand on its own as a movie. And it *is* easier to call both agents “Mulder.” And they *do* mumble a lot so it’s hard to make out their lines. And there are a lot of cheap deaths. Especially the bomb scene in the beginning.
I am already realizing the benefits of being both a Cinematic Titanic fan and a RiffTrax fan. Cinematic Titanic is more creative, and still funnier in my opinion. They make references to older things, which makes it the homeschool equivalent to film school for me. I always try to look up the jokes I didn’t initially get, and I usually learn a new bit of pop culture trivia in the process. RiffTrax, on the other hand, is a bandage for box office shlock. It makes terrible movies like Glitter less of a waste of time, and it puts huge successes like Jurassic Park in perspective. Though I am less likely to watch the ones for the movies I liked when they were originally released. You *can* make fun of good movies too, but it’s really not my style. Additionally, RiffTrax could potentially make things better when one of your friends wants to put on a movie you really don’t want to watch. You could listen to the RiffTrax together or just you could put on a headset to hear the mp3 so no one’s good taste has to be compromised and both people can have a good time.
And on the blogs, the writers in both camps are talking to the fans occasionally. The RiffTrax team is inviting the Titans to collaborate too. So of course all the fans are hoping for a Joel vs Mike riff off.
